wow, I am hurting. I wonder if I am just doing things wrong. Of course I don't know what would be "right." Maybe I am just having my own little pity-party. I probably am.
I try to extend myself to people, when they are in difficult and hard places. When others would throw their hands up and not invest in them, I invest and make a place for these people. At least I think I do. The last few days have been filled with reminders of how those very people reject me. They are very free to accuse me and critique me of weaknesses. Some feel free to write me off totally.
I need to know LORD, What do I do wrong? Do I exploit, control, demean?
I won't be able to know if I fall into self-pity.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
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5 comments:
i don't know for sure but maybe it is what you are doing right, not what you are doing wrong. He promises that we will share in both the glory and the suffering. not everyone that Jesus cared for/healed/spent time with was appreciative. Remember the ten lepers? only one went back to the temple to praise God.
or remember Naaman the leper in 2Kings? he got so offended when the prophet to the King told him simply to wash in the Jordan and he would be healed. he wanted the fire from heaven to heal his leprosy, not something simple, and also...not something that required something of himself. until i read your post, i never really thought how Elijah must have felt when Naaman stormed off. but think about it--the King had torn his clothes when the leper was sent to him...and Elijah steps in and says and reassures the king and prays for Naaman...only to have Naaman storm off. i mean that was probably a little embarassing for the prophet himself. who would tell a leper to just "take a bath?" the humble God. that is who.
anyways. i was so surprised to read this post that i had to leave a comment.
Sheep bite. It's probably one of the toughest things a "shepherd" has to learn: how to continue risking relational vulnerability for the sake of those that might actually be blessed through it without developing a "thick skin" or a calloused heart as a result of those that don't.
Hang in there, Ken. You're one of the good guys.
That's really profound, actually, that the very people you extend yourself to and want to help will reject you, accuse you and write you off entirely. God knows all about that and he's totally with you in what you're going through now...
Oh wait a minute--I was just about to give you my butchered version of the sermon you gave on suffering at the Exodus conference a couple of weeks ago, but I bet you've still got the notes if you need 'em.
Thanks guys, I am doing much better. Wow, that was a "dip" in the course of my week.
Robbie, yea I got the notes... :) Had to chuckle about that.
there isn't a whole hellavu lot that ricky and i agree on these days :) but one thing he used to always say has stuck with me: "hurting people hurt people". i suppose it's par for the course, though never easy to deal with. glad you've got yourself out of that dip!
peace and love,
dj
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